do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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