You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
