Where is the hickey?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
