I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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