u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
