I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
