the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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