I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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