Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
