You made me cry and you don't even care
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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