I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
