You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
