It's Friday. Sex?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
