There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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