My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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