i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
