Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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