fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
