and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so let's talk penis.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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