so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
