If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
