it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
