That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
