I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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