He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
