Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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