Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
