my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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