A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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