I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
