69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
