My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
