He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
