I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize