I'm really into asian looking animals
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
