And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
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