I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
this will be a night to untag.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Randomize
