I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
