I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
