is your mom at the bar?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
