he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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