the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
