Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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