I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
