I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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