On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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