i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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