Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
