Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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