Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
