If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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