He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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