Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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