This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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