And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
