Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
