I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
