and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
This baby is an asshole
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
